I ate a lot to be energetic, I didn't sleep several nights along. Kelly was very capricious baby. She had all the time stomachaches, earaches, she was very weak baby. Maybe because that I had very hard pregnancy.
And after this period one great May morning I woke up with sun. The morning was wonderful, I looked at Kelly, she was sleeping and like smiling. First time in my life I felt alive, everything was singing in me.
I ran in kitchen, made my lovely coffee and first time after 3 years I smoked a cigarette, which left my EX husbands dad. The taste was great, delicious American coffee and French cigarettes ... Kelly was still sleeping, I went to bathroom, took shower after great coffee, then I opened my wardrobe to choose something very soft & beautiful to look great this morning and here it began..
In the biggest mirror I saw myself naked from head to legs, I saw some ugly women, That was not me always slim and beautiful. From mirror some fat lady was looking at me, with ugliest hairstyle, with neglected face. I was shocked seeing this. There was some Lady Kvazimodo looking at me from the mirror. This wasn't me :(
But from the truth will never run away.
And I realized what I have done with myself last several months :(
I even didn't have normal clothes to wear, I started crying and looking at Kel ...
Does she need such ugly mom?
Of course not ...
I must do something, from today, exactly, this day is the date of starting new life ...
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