I BECAME A SINGLE MOM

Yet I wasn't a mom,

I was just waiting for baby, but I felt so lonely
The only phone calls to my house was from my father who lives in Australia and from Etien's father
My daddy is a zoologist and works there for 6 years already
I see him only once in 3 years or so, he doesn't come to USA after my mom died. He doesn't like this country.

He was just calling one a month to be sure I was alive ...
I never told him about my problems

Etien's father also was calling, he asked me everything, how was I, how was baby inside me. When I found out that baby was a girl and decided to give her name Kelly - he was very happy. He said he wished to have girl grandchild.

I was working all the time, Until January 17th when Kelly was born.
Etien's father came to states to be with me and to meet his first grandchild.
He was verry happy, he stayed with us for 2 weeks and was helping me in everything
He bought everything for baby, furniture, clothes, accessories, everything in the world

kelly was very calm and beautiful baby, grand father was in love with her.


After 2 weeks he decided to go back to France, as his business was waiting for him
He bought me a car :) This was great surprise.

We talked a lot while he was there about Etien, he says he was behaving very aggressive, never called me
Didnt even ask a word about our baby
I was crying all nights long, but then I gathered all the braveness in me and decided to start my new life ........

The whole 9 months

I was to doctors, I was 9 weeks pregnant already.
It was strange, but I didn't felt this till that day :)
The doctor examined me carefully, everything was perfect with me and baby
In 4-5 weeks I could know if it was a girl or a boy

I started looking at life with different point of view, I was not starting quarrels with Etien any more
It seemed I didn't care about his new hobbies any more
I was working the whole, and I started gathering money for my baby. I was working 3 times harder than before ...

And one day I decided to talk to Etien about our future. To clear everything ...

I was already 5 month pregnant, I was paying less & less attention on my husband.
When I suddenly noticed that this was going on every day. He was under influence every day.
He was behaving very strange, coming home late, stopped eating, didn't smile any more, was not saying even a word about our baby. He was stranger in his own family ...
That evening we talked a lot, he promised that everything will be OK, that he will stop doing this the soonest, and that we will grow up our baby together and be very happy. But he lied, he was not going to stop this.
I gave him one month ...
After 3 weeks nothing was changed, I called his father and told him everything, he was shocked.
On the 4th day he arrived, He was the happiest when he saw me waiting for baby.

We had really bad evening, we talked to Eti a lot, but he didn't want to hear any word, he threw a plate to his father and started shouting. I started crying, his father turned Etien from the house.
The other day Etien came again, saying how sorry he was etc. But his father told that he is taking him to France in clinic, where such persons stay for becoming healthy. And that the house where we lived is mine after this.
Etien was very angry, he started shouting, breaking the things on his way, but his father soon made him calm.
They went in bedroom, talked a lot, his father was very angry and was talking in French with him, the other day they went to Paris.
The course of medical treatment needed 6 months. If he will be OK, I promised to receive him back. But if not - next April we should divorce :(
I had terrible days, I couldn't work, all the time I was at home crying and asking god, why this happened with me. What bad did I do in my life to be punished like this :(

This was the worst period in my life,
Have you ever felt such things?

Drug Addicted

I hate this word
I hate this phrase, but he became :(

I don't want to tell detailed story about this.
He told me that he would be the best husband in the world, would do anything for me but I must allow him 1 pill every Saturday night.
I was idiot and I agreed, I loved him too much to lose him

Every Saturday he was going to different night clubs, drinking some pills, some cocktails, mushrooms, LSD & he was happy.
Sometimes I was going with him, drinking a lot to forget that my husband is becoming drug addicted.

And soon I understood that I was pregnant.
I was afraid, become I already didn't believe in my husbands health.

I AM WRITING ALREADY 9 DAYS
I WONDER, IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE READING ME?
AREN'T YOU?
SOMEBODY?
ANYBODY?

Next Saturday

The whole week I was trying to forget these pills ...
But i couldn't, intuition or something inside me was giving SOS signals

Many times I was stopping working and searching in internet information about these pills.

Next Saturday Etien asked me again to go to night club. I agreed ...

We went to that club where he was last week. A lot of young people. loud music, crazy sounds, alcohol, smoke of cigarettes, drunk people. All these made me feel inconvenient.

I started drinking cocktails, i wanted to feel something common with the people around me.
We were sitting in comfortable armchairs, drinking some kinds of cocktails, just tasting them, I never loved alcohol. The young waiter was serving us, which was talking with Etien just like a friend. They even shacked their hands when met each other. The waiter was very young, I was confused how could Etien know him so close. I asked and he answered that Bill, the young waiter was a cousin of Daniel.
Approximately 1 hours after, I felt a bit drunk and had real good mood and the loud music was calling me to dance floor. I asked Eti tu dance, he agreed, we danced a lot, the evening was really great, I felt myself wonderful, I was very soft, I could dance the whole night, I liked the drunk situation. Etien went to toilet, he came bacl soon with Bill again. I was joking: "Oh, you became so close friends that you go to toilet together?". They laughed. Etien took me in hands and started turning me around. I felt crazy and I liked this too much.
But after several minutes I felt the same look of Etien as last Saturday.
He was very active and energetic again ...

I understood, he took the pills again. The tears came to my eyes, and I felt something like knife in my heart. It was really hurt. He promised - not to do this again.
He did it again :(
The wonderful evening finished with great disappointment ...

I took my bag and ran out ...
This was the worst evening for last several years in my life ...

One April Evening

I never loved nightclubs. Neither did Etien.
That's why it was so unusual when one Friday evening he asked me to go to night club with him & his friends.
I was really surprised and confused. He asked for the first time .
I couldn't go, as I had one very important project to finish and I needed a lot of time for that.
Besides I didn't want to go there, as night club is something very not interesting for me.

I was interested with whom he was going there, he said Daniel -with his wife & some other guys from his office.
I asked him to go without me, as I really needed to be concentrated on my work and silence and staying alone that night would be exactly what I needed. He went there ...
I stayed and continue working. It was very interesting project, we were making advertising campaign for one famous brand.
I am not jealous, I never felt this feeling. Never, not that night, It was no problem for me to let my husband go out with his friends.
I was working the whole night, near morning Etien came back home.
He was just a bit drunk, but he was very, very active, talking a lot, drinking a lot of water.
I asked what was this, why he was so energetic after the whole night spent in club.
He set on a chair with a glass of water in his hands, looked at me and asked - I will tell you something, but please don't be angry with me. I was very confused but I promised.
He told me that he swallowed up a pill of XTC. I didn't know what was that , he explained that this was a pill that makes people be on a good mood.
After I checked in Wikipedia and found this: - is a psychoactive amphetamine drug with entactogenic, psychedelic, and stimulant effects. This was drug. I was scared.
I didn't like that, and asked him not to do this again. Never
He promised ...............

Woman in love

Before I begin telling about my pregnancy, I would like to tell a bit about the period before ...

Life seemed to be pink & wonderful
I was in love, I felt this with every part of my body

The same was with Etien, he was talking with me even from job, by skype, by facebook .
We couldn't imagine world without each other, he was buying me roses, perfumes, dresses and all the other stuff that girls like. we had wonderful weekends, spending in different cities, with different friends, picnics etc.

Sometimes I was taking my job at home and he was just help me with some solutions or watching TV, in case not to disturb me. I liked such evenings, when I was still working, he was coming - hugging and kissing me, making me dinner or coffee. It was really unimaginable life, I could only dream about.


I never thought something wrong could happen with us ..........
It hurts real bad, when I remember those days
I was not ready for that shock
I could not think that something like that could happen with me,, happen with us
But even me was not safe from such kicks of life :(

Status: Married

When we came back from our honeymoon we started living in Etien's flat, a very comfortable and nice flat in the centre of the city. I always liked this place.

We had very cute and calm life, every evening were coming home tired after hard working day, but happy - as our second half was waiting for us. Sometimes I was coming earlier, sometimes he.

We had great mornings, drinking Starbucks in kitchen, smoking cigarettes, talking about our jobs, about our feelings and so on...
We had wonderful evenings at home, at our friend's homes, just walking, in bars, restaurants, in cinemas etc.

We were really happy, we loved each other too much, we looked great together - everybody marked this all the time.
That we were great couple - and I wanted this to last forever ...
as these days are very very dear in my life and I couldn't even imagine that we will not be together some day ...

We didn't plan Kelly yet, but in the beginning of June I understood that I am pregnant ...
O M G
I was waiting for a baby ....

And I said "YES"

Here I continue my previous post

After 2 weeks we had not big but very beautiful wedding.
There I met his parents, they live in France. Etien's (my husband's name) mom was beautiful Irish lady but there was something wrong with her character. But Etien's father was something really amazing. the best person I have ever met.
We liked each other from the first look.

They had a lot of money, I knew this from Etien, and his father arranged our Honeymoon in Greece with his own money.
This was perfect present and we had great time in Greece.



This was something very unusual and fantastic in my life ...
Imagine all the smiling people around you, white buildings, white clothes, tanned bodies and great Greek treatment.
We spent wonderful 2 weeks there, just loving each other, loving life and loving Greece.

Unfortunately 2 weeks passed like minutes, very soon ...

How we began

We loved each other
Really loved, for many months everything was going quite good

We met each other in internet, talking a lot, sharing photos, telling about our jobs and about what we were dreaming about ...
We met each other in real life after 36 days ..

This was great evening, we were planning to walk a bit together but we changed our mind because of rainy weather and went to cafe, to drink coffee with Bailey's. this is my favorite, have you ever tried? just try, it's wonderful

After that day we were dating almost every day, we had wonderful period, we were waiting for the end of working day to meet each other ...

And on 14th of February 2007, On St. Valentines Party in my friends house he asked me to merry him.

MY FIRST STEP

Hello World

My Name is Leticia, at last i decided to create my own corner in internet

I am not native English speaker, so please excuse me if there will be any mistakes in my texts.
I will try my best not to make any mistakes ...

Well, I am 28 years old and I am already a single mom, growing up a beautiful Kelly & living her life ...
Trying to be strong and always in good mood & good looking

This is my intro, and I am gonna tell you a lot about my life and my experiences :)

Smile, life is beautiful, just sometimes it is severe to us ...